June 20, 2016

Oh, Snapchat; probably one of the greatest creations to have been spawned from the rise of social media. Shady beginnings aside, there’s no denying the thrill of spontaneous snapping and sharing, especially when its laidback nature trumps the rigidity of Facebook and the pretentious curated feeds of Instagram. And obviously it keeps getting better. Enter the Snapchat lens filters, first introduced in the September of last year and now fiercely beloved by young girls and generally bored users worldwide. Some find themselves drawn to rainbow regurgitation; and we all have that one friend who can’t stop abusing the dog face filter. So we decided to strip down every (available) filter to analyse just what each one could mean – about you. Today’s model of choice: the impossibly perfect Kendall Jenner. (Be prepared for some major self-esteem issues.)



1. Dog Face


True to popular belief; indicative of a basic white girl. Consistently favours it for creating a sharper face, smoother skin, and larger eyes – plus the unexplainable fact that the added dog features somehow make her look sensual and attractive. Guilty of “casually” adding it to her story so any cute boys watching will be charmed by her perfect combination of sexy and cute. Will try a pretty filter every now and then but constantly goes back to the Dog Face because – duh, the tongue. There’s a reason Snapchat subsequently created a dalmatian side bitch.


2. The pretty filters

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Big, dewy eyes, flawless lightened skin (which seems a little racist to us, tbh); a hit with girls savvy enough to steer clear of the damning Dog Face, but still keen on looking pretty. Frequent users remain within the more self-conscious bunch who take pains in looking good and take pride in it. (You go girl!) Most commonly used when snapping nonchalant Get Ready With Mes, bored selfies, and showing off good makeup days.


3. Random animal currently on offer


Anything from a kitty to a racoon to a full-faced panda; today it’s a pig – which Kendall somehow manages to make attractive as well. Used in random selfies not designed to attract anyone, the regular animal face filterer enjoys adding a little more interest in to their (Snapchat) lives, and is confident enough to know that no amount of licking dog tongues can make you more attractive than you already are.


4. Cutie sad face


For days when you don’t feel or look your best, or don’t have anything going on, but still want to add something to your story – because adorable doe eyes always save the day. Particularly appreciated when wittily played up by someone who legitimately has a cause to pout-frown – and a sign of a decent sense of humour! This filter says you’re a socially acceptable mix of understanding the importance of putting thought into your appearance, and knowing when to indifferently disregard it.


5. Unflattering warped face



A complete 180 from the cutie face filters, the unflattering warped face filters come in a range of amusing distortions – large nose, fat chin, Kim Jong Un eyes, etc. Favourites of fun-loving people who know how to have a good laugh, and to laugh at themselves while they’re at it. Don’t belittle these users as mere clowns – regular use indicates immense levels of self-awareness that keep them down-to-earth and lovable; and definite keepers as ‘chill’ friends/natural comedians. Gotta love a sense of humour.


6. Makeup face


Most commonly used in sheer amusement at the prowess of Snapchat face detection, but usually just a one-off thing. Occasionally used for girls to genuinely consider further experimentation with makeup.


7. Weird miscellaneous filter no one really knows how to react to


Honestly, just for times when you’re so damn bored you decide to try every lens filter currently available; especially since these aren’t hot favourites that stay in your filter selection for long. Just like this bizarre strawberry, you’re weird, quirky, and have a penchant for strange novelties – the stranger the better. Users swing both ways – amateurs trying out Snapchat for the first time (and being disgustingly amused), or experienced snappers who’ve run out of filters to try but are adamant on adding something to their story for the day. If you’re a regular user of such random filters, hats off to you, pal.


8. Face Swap


And finally, the most legendary lens filter to have ever graced this earth. Frequent users are guilty of a mild obsession of seeing their features on other people’s faces, though this self-absorption is instantly negated by genuine, roaring laughter at Face Swap fails. These people will never cease to find joy in the littler things, and are their own silver linings in every situation. Keep them by your side for a journey to becoming a more carefree, lighthearted soul. And pray that the Face Swap lens filter never gets removed.